The Line Drawn

Is there ever one? Between good and evil? Right and wrong?

If there is, who drew it?

If there is, does it mean that the moment you cross it, you will go straight to hell?

If there is, I must be really blind, 'cause I can't see even a dot of it.

But.. If there isn't, then what is right or wrong? What is good, what is evil?

Lessons of Life

Lesson #1
Always make sure you ain't on speakerphone before you start divulging secrets of your personal life, or bitching about someone else. I'm still spitting fire over the fact that my assistant manager bitched about my incompetence to my manager over speakerphone while I was standing right there next to the manager. Oh well, at least I don't feel so guilty about dumping all the mess into her lap now :)

Lesson #2
Never leave your food lying on the table, unopened. Unless you like the taste of ants in your mouth, of course. I had to throw my $2.70 worth of breakfast into the bin 'cause those icky bastards were crawling all over it. That reminds me, my new home needs ant exterminator, whatever you call it :)

Lesson #3
Do not make promises, no matter how small or easy they seem. Trust me, there may come a day where you can see no way of you fulfilling it, but you just have to simply because you gave your word. When the time comes, all you want to do is to dig a hole and hide in there forever and never come out. So yea, that's why there is something called "commitment phobia" :)

Kiez, it is miserable to be in office when everyone else is leaving. Merry xmas, peeps~

Holidays give people a reason to remember how to be happy :)

The Big Escape

Ever felt like running away from someone you love?

I want to yell out loud, I don't give a f*ck about you, but I can't. I yearn to chase you out of my existence, but I will be cursed if I do. My mind is telling me that you are hazardous for my health. My heart is dishing out the 201 reasons why I should stay by your side. You are taking away everything I came here for. And the saddest part is, I don't even know how to start complaining.

Come to think of it, why should I be the one in agony? You are the invader of my life; the unwanted newcomer. I mustn't be the one to make sacrifices just to steer clear out of your path. It isn't my fault your brain hasn't fully developed. Neither is it my wrongdoing that you can be such a jerk at times. I didn't give birth to you. I do not owe you anything. Blood ties mean nothing.

I was happy until you showed up; why should I give up merely because you won't grow up?

I'm torn. Between love and murder. Just don't make the latter temptation any stronger.

I don't hate you; in fact, I love you. I just cannot live with you.

In The Dark

I was debating with a guy (lets call him Mr. A, shall we?) over a certain issue: is it appropriate for a girl and a guy, whom are not attached to each other, to watch a movie together. Mr. A argued that in a cinema where everything is pitched into darkness, anything could happen. The guy could start groping the girl and it would go unnoticed. Hell, I fought back, if I get molested of course I would know it there and then. I don't give a damn if the rest of the audience curse/swear at me; I would just stand up and throw a fit if the guy dares try something funny.

Then Mr. A said, it is still inappropriate for a guy and a girl be in such close proximity with each other. And in total blackness. I snorted, what difference does it make as compared to sitting to next to a total stranger in an airplane or on a bus on my way to work. Hello, there is something called an armrest wedged in the middle of two seats which more than often piss lovers off 'cause they can never get too close to each other. Besides, cinemas nowadays have big comfortable seats where you can slouch into it and never touch each other throughout the movie.

Newayz, there wasn't a satisfying conclusion to the debate :( And, I still think I am perfectly right where this matter is concerned. Puh-leese, going to the movies is like the most natural thing to do on this planet. Lol :)

Have to drag my sorry arse all the way to Sengkang tonight. I really didn't want to go; but it is our last shot at getting a decent housemate before hurling $1,800 into the ocean, so I am gritting my teeth to put up a good show. Crossing my fingers that something somehow will turn out fine somewhere and I can put the whole disaster behind me. Once and for all.

Did I mention that November was my unlucky month and I am damn glad it is finally December. I gave myself plenty of bruises last month with silly self-inflicted accidents. I lost a library book which I borrowed but was too boring for me to read beyond the first chapter and now I have to pay a penalty for it. I missed our Melb-GC flight and had to pay an extra $100 for another. I suffered from IBS due to tremendous amount of unnecessary stress and couldn't eat/sleep well for weeks. The weather totally sucked when I went to Aussie and it was oh-so-terrifying schoolies week. Anything else I missed out..?

December is definitely a more cheerful month, at least for me :) First day back at work and I got taken out of my job that left me "workless" for an entire week. Got a bundle of programs lined up due to xmas and not to mention, the best friend is coming down on the 25th. Made plans to go home for a week at the end of the year to celebrate new year's eve with the boyfriend and darling Lin. Also, it marks my one-year anniversary in the firm. 12 months of independence. 366 days of being a working adult and I got rewarded with 13 days of fun in the land of koalas. Woot~

45 mins to go before I attend my first xmas event of the year :)

What happened isn't as important as what you think happened~

Claustrophobic

"An abnormal fear of being in enclosed or narrow spaces"

Feeling a wee bit of that now. Maybe it is because I spent two weeks in a country where there's nothing but vast space. Or maybe it is because I lived two weeks without a worry in my mind or heart. Or maybe it is because the sister moved into my room since Sunday and I lost all sense of space and privacy. Or maybe Singapore really need to start acquiring Johor before we have nowhere else to stand. In conclusion, it sucks to be sucked back into reality after two weeks of bliss and fun and nothing else.

Boo~

Heartfelt thanks to everyone who made this trip a memorable event: Min, Lin, Rin, Kings, William, Michelle, Poh Yee, Esther, Jin.. Anyone else I missed out? Going on a vacation on your own bank account definitely rocks :) Miraculously, I didn't blow my budget (okay, maybe only by a few measly bugs) despite the flight by a miserable ten minutes, penalty for excess baggage on my flight back, unnecessary shopping (in my mom's opinion, of course), and duty-free goods from the airport. Definitely deserve a good pat on the back, urh?

On a separate note, the job market at the mo terrifies the shit out of me. LT was telling me how big companies, especially banks, are retrenching their workers. Everyone is bracing for a recession to hit hard and soon: cut spending, stock up on groceries, move out of the flat and into the in-laws's home so that you can rent out your own for extra income.. Then, I came back to office and found out that a good number of people I know in the firm tendered O.o A fellow run mate who found himself a job with the government; my senior from an upcoming job in Jan that I was looking forward to; an oh-too-jolly manager from my coaching group; the co-ordinating manager from my coaching group whom everyone else thought would stay 'til partnership; the secretary sitting right behind me today; yada yada. Crap, this makes no sense to me ><

Don't fret, my friends. I don't plan to leave my job any time soon. Still enjoying my time in hell of terror :) Sister started her new job today. Was kinda afraid she would be homesick; something I almost didn't experience 'cause everyone else said I was too cold-blooded for it. Found out I got taken out of my job for this week, so I'm assigned to sit in for some secretary instead. Was kinda sore about losing my only hotel job, but well, I don't mind getting paid to sit around and do nothing for once. Puh-leese, if you would just take a look at my Retain, I'm like the only poor soul who doesn't get assigned on anything but jobs all year long :(

Got a house viewing scheduled tonight. Apparently, sister decided we should just give up the previous one and forfeit the deposit. Number one, it has caused nothing but unpleasantness and we won't be too happy living under that roof for a year. Number two, it is virtually impossible to find a suitable housemate in one week. Number three, lets just say sister did not fall in love with the house at first sight. Aye, it hurts so damn much to lose that amount of money just because my sister was too stubborn back then to heed anyone's advice. But shrugs, she is my sister and I want to see her happy :) So, there goes 1,000 bugs down the sewer!

Presently waiting for sister to finish her first day at work. I want to go home and curl up in my bed. Still feeling lethargic from too much fun and too little sleep. Travelling is no easy feat, kiez? Oh yea, I finished Twilight (bought it on impulse, nyeh!) and it was a damn good book. You should have seen me giggling to myself at the end of the coach on my way back here. Definitely looking forward to the movie when it finally opens in Singapore next Thursday :)

Have you ever held a bouquet of beautiful pink roses in your hands thinking "wtf is this"..?

Random Hearts

That's the novel I was hooked on. Apparently, it was filmed into a movie before. That famous guy I forgot what's his name, yeah, he starred in it. I am bad with names and faces, to the dismay of my friends :(

Neways. Ms A is married to Mr A. Mr B is married to Ms B with a five year old kid. Ms A and Mr B met on a plane and fell in love instantaneously. Despite being married. The soulmates kinda thing; just sucky timing. They had an affair for more than a year, then Ms A found out she's pregnant, with Mr B's child. Uh huh. So they planned a trip to Miami the day after xmas to discuss about how they were going to break the news to their spouses.

The plane crashed. Everyone died. But because their tickets were bought under the names of Mr and Mrs Calvin Malboro (after Calvin Klein and the famous cigg brand, diaonz), the cops couldn't identify them. Their spouses didn't know they were on the plane. Ms A was supposed to be in LA. Mr B said he was flying to Paris. Until a smart detective took the keys from both the corpses and found the perfect match.

The keys to the apartment where they have their daily trysts.

So, the spouses were called in to collect the bodies. They were dumbfounded; had no clue their other halves were cheating on them. They were under the impression that their marriages were perfect. And now, that security blanket is snatched away cruelly. Instead of mourning their deaths, they burned with hatred for the betrayal and plotted to find the apartment. The only key to solving the whole mystery. To unravel the web of lies.

In the end, they fell in love, too. And finally forgave their cheating dead spouses. Tragic, huh?

Love is a gift; it's a disaster. Love is the breath of life~

On Bended Knees

I beg for forgiveness. For peace. For understanding. For a miracle.

I went to see a doctor twice in two days. The same one. Both times with totally different problems. I think he was fairly amused. He said I had irritable bowels; a side effect of stress. I had all the symptoms: nausea, lack of appetite, frequent urges to visit the loo, and a pinched look etched on my face. Pathetic, huh?

LT would say I brought this upon myself. I deserve no pity. Jacob would give me that I-told-you-so face. The boyfriend would go "tsk tsk" in a patronising way. Sigh. Long story, I don't even know where to begin. House hunting woes, I told Mr. Doctor. He tried to start a conversation; asked me why and what. He's nice, but I didn't need counselling. Not at 3pm on a Thursday afternoon.

At 3pm on a Thursday afternoon, all I wanted to do was go back to office. Type up the crap my demanding manager ordered me to. Stash the lappie in my locker and disappear for a good two weeks. Go home and crawl into bed. Wallow in self-pity 'til I can't stand myself any further and I will be okay soon enough. I wanted to yell at my manager, f*ck it. I am on leave today. You want me to do something, book me on the job then. I yearned to stuff my face silly with food and puke my guts out after that. I was desperate for hole to hide myself into and cry.

Yes, I am overstressed. I just refused to admit it to myself :(

Thank God, I told the kind doctor, I am flying off the Melb on Saturday afternoon. I am putting the whole disaster behind me. My mind is made up; my options are clear. 1,350 bugs won't kill me; I'd just whine and grumble about it for a couple weeks and not bring it up again. It was an expensive lesson to learn but what is life without its pitfalls? Jacob would say he survived worse and is still alive and kicking.

Let go and you will become what you want to be~

Listen To Your Heart

Unforfunately, it is failing me at the mo. What happened to womanly instincts when you need 'em?

Last night I dreamt. It was a Saturday morning and the demanding bull dog manager called me back to work. He was waiting for me in the office. I took the elevator with a guy, his face unknown. The elevator went up and up. And suddenly, everything blacked out. Down and down it fell. Free fall to nothing. I forgot if I screamed in my sleep.

It has been a real stressful week for me. For the first half of last week I was frantic. Time was running out and I have not found a house. They were either nice but too expensive, or affordable but not habitable. Then on a rainy Wed night, I thought I found the perfect home. Cosy and located right next to a mall, though a mite too far from the mrt station, we have the lrt to compensate for the distance. I listened to my sixth sense and took it; and that is when the real nightmare begun.

A day later, my 3rd housemate backed out for no reason. Despite agreeing to the budget and location in the first place. Her argument was we did not consult her before we signed the contract. Goddamnit, everything of that house fulfilled her conditions and she's giving me the bullshit!! And, she is not paying a cent of our forfeited deposit if we terminate the agreement. Some choice of friends my sister had.

The irony was, my sister was the one who helped her secure a job in Singapore. Coached her interviewing skills, edited her resume, lent her courage, etc. And this is how she repay us. It is not even our f*cking fault because we did communicate everything to her in the first place. Talk about being irresponsible!!

Trust me, I am seething with enough rage to want to barge up to her parents' place and demand that they do something about this whole fiasco. If they refuse.. Well, we will all know where the daughter got those genes from. Either way, I don't lose any more than I already had. Might as well make it difficult for that bitch. I should definitely derive some satisfaction from creating a scene. After all, I'm not the one being insulted here.

Jacob is trying to talk me out of that idea now. Said it's not worth it at all. He doesn't want to bail me out from the station if the parents decide to call the cops on me. He's being sweet lar, but I am still pissed to the tips of my toe nails at the mo. She made my sister upset. She gave my parents a cause for concern. She skewered up my life and expects to walk away from this tangle untouched? Yeah right, bitch.

Newayz, that is spilled milk. I can sob and cry and bawl over it after this. But I still have to mop up the mess right now. To terminate the contract I will lose 2,700 bugs upfront and probably have to go through the agony of house hunting again. To proceed I risk losing up to 7,200 bugs in a year's time if I fail to find a housemate. Market prices are falling as the days go by - which can be both good and bad news to me - depending on which side of the coin I land on. Maybe I should create a poll and collect votes.

In my dream, I escaped the drama with only an ugly bruise on my arm. The guy was unhurt too.

I got another 36 hours to decide. To come up with the next best solution to minimise my losses (if I really have to suffer any). I hope I find the strength and wisdom to pull myself and my sister through this. May dreams come true..

Dreams are a reflection of reality~

Bugger Off

That is generally your first reaction when someone pops the question,

"Hi, got a minute to spare...?"

These days, I have successfully emulated the oh so useful thanks-but-no-thanks small smile that you paste on your face when you see the pesky salesman trying too hard to catch your attention on the streets. If he turns insistent, I raise the polite but brutal hand that says, no I have made up my mind that I will not be interested in whatever you say. Be it credit card promoters or survey boys or the pretty flyer distributer, I avoid them like plague.

Before I came here, I used to acknowledge their presence. I would stop whatever I am doing to pay them some precious attention. I would fill out that 101 pages of survey willingly because I know exactly how tough it is to approach stranger after stranger enthusiastically, only to be rejected. Been there done that. Besides, everyone deserves a break in life. But..

I just have this come-and-talk-to-me face when it comes to strangers. Whether I want it or not. I would get stopped almost every time. Got bullied into buying 5 sweets and some packets of tissues in front of Cathay last time. Donated RM17 to some charity organisation in One U. Etc etc. What, do I look uber gullible?

I told myself, it is for the good of Mother Nature. If I take that piece of flyer, it means more paper has to be produced, more trees to be felled. I convinced my guilty conscience, it is for their own good. If I stopped to listen and turn out not interested at all, it would be wasting their time and effort. I scolded myself, it is for the good of my own being. I do not have the time or energy to entertain them only to have to think of a nice way to reject them afterwards.

Door stoppers, I call them. They are not entirely useless, but most of the time people kick them out of the way for convenience. Especially since they are so insignificant, you tend to forget they are there and may accidently kick your toe into it. Oww!

Times are bad. The number of door stoppers are increasing. DBS just announced a plan to retrench 900 employees over the weekend. That means 900 more jobless souls walking around. It totally suck, especially when costs of living are sky high. People are feeling jittery about money. No one has the time or mood to bother about door stoppers.

I swear, I would. If only I am not rushing to catch the bus or train. Or late for an appointment. Or having a nice conversation with a friend. Or listening to my fav song on mp3. Yeah, I would entertain you.

10 hours of sleep makes Vern a happy kid, ZZzzzZzzz..

Marbled II

Woke up this morning to a ringing cellphone. It was the boyfriend. I kept forgetting he works at odd hours. Dragged myself to dance class with a headache and a tinge of nausea. Couldn't get into the rhythm at all; it sucked big time. Bought a pair of shorts 'cause I forgot to bring mine -___-"

But buying it did help to lift my spirits. Yeah, I know you would be thinking, typical female. Shopaholic. Whatever. Well, we call it retail therapy. Purchase something that you like. Put a smile on your own face if none else can. Pamper yourself. Life's short enough.

Jacob picked us up from SMU and off we went to Pasir Ris Park. Gosh, I have not rollerblade in decades O.o Totally forgot how to balance on wheels for a mo. Jacob taught me how to brake - something I never knew how to despite all my skating years - and I was wheezing through the park jolly soon enough. Weather was good. Sea breeze was soothing on my troubled soul. Amiable company. How more can you enjoy a Saturday afternoon?

Fell twice only. Both times on my palms. No blood no bruises. It was definitely my lucky day. Yea of course, green green grass saved me a couple of times too. Another reason to love our nature. Poor Jacob, he's an expert skater. I think it was agonizing for him to travel at tortoise speed just to keep down with us noobs.

Don't know why, but my home country is celebrating Obama's win. At least, Hitz.fm is. On Thursday right after the results were announced, the station was playing Obama songs over andover and over 'til it drove me nuts. I don't get it; how does a black American president affect us? It is not like he campaigned to donate billions of dollars to Malaysia O.o Really couldn't fathom what was the big show of support all about.

Currently reading this book: Man of the Month Club. It's about this 39 years old woman. She is smart and successful. Not on very good terms with her mother. Thought she could survive fine without a husband or kids. Then on her 39th birthday, she rammed her car into her dog. Got depressed and decided she wanted a baby after all. Since she doesn't have a boyfriend she made it her aim to bed a man each month during her ovulation period so that she can conceive.

I'm only halfway through. First two mating attempts failed miserably. Guy number one couldn't stand women making the first move and got turned off. Guy number two got involved in a biking accident and couldn't perform (ahem) so he didn't bother to show up. Can't wait to see who she chooses for next month's eggs :P

A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.

The Distrust of Trust

Picture this. Girl met guy. They fell in love; it was a match made in heaven. Dated for a couple of years before getting married. Life was tough; but hey, they loved each other. Guy wanted to build his career and girl gave her wholehearted support. She was a good wife and a good mother to their offsprings. In short, one sweet family.

Fast forward ten years. Guy is now rich and successful. And like all other rich and successful men, he becomes too cocksure of himself and (conveniently) forgets his marriage vows. Initially it's the occasional women he meets in pubs. 6 months later he has a mistress installed in some exotic villa. Typical modern day love story, don't you think?

So, wife finds out eventually. But, what can she, or rather, what is she going to do about it?

Sure, you can sob your heart out. You gave him your heart and soul; you dedicated half of your life to give him what he has now and this is how he repays you. But the point is, it's not like he pointed a gun to your temple to force you to marry him or sacrifice so much for him.

Of course, you can turn hostile and sue him for half of his assets. Battle in courts for custody of the kids; take them and the money and swear to never see his asshole face again. But, what about your poor kids who lost their daddy overnight. Think about how their classmates will tease them in school; believe me, kids nowadays are merciless. Imagine them growing up without a fatherly figure.

And yes, the guy may come crawling back begging for forgiveness. Says it was a mistake and you are the woman he loves most (and still do). Swears on his ancestors' graves that he will never do it again if you take him back. And because you are born tender hearted like 60% of the female population, you capitulated and try to work things out. But, if he can betray you once (or even many times before you discovered his dirty lil secrets), what makes you think he won't do it again or is still sleeping with the 101 women outside.

So, is it worth trusting men (or love) in the first place?

My mother always says marriage is a calculated risk. But I think it is luck, too.

Trust is like bungee jumping; you plunge headfirst into unknown territory and pray hard that you will never hit the bottom.

Trust is like gambling; you see something you like and place your stakes. Chances of winning are always 50:50.

Trust is like unwrapping a present; you can try to guess what it is by shaking/smelling/touching/weighing the package. But you will never know what is inside until you have the chance to open it. Seeing is believing; the rest is just nothing.

Kiez. I am definitely going beyond the edge with this. I'm at various crossroads now. Each requires me to make an earth shattering decision. I need time. A clear mind. Some guts. And trust.

Ah Bo Ne Ne

Q: How do you make an Indian girl explode?
A: By pressing that little red dot in the middle of her forehead.

That was Tse Whei making fun of me during lunch yesterday. Almost strangled him with my belt and tossed him into Singapore river.

-___-"

Woke up looking like a little Indian yesterday morning. Was seriously considering calling in sick because I have this mega-huge-and-red zit smacked right in the middle of the bridge of my nose. I mean, it must be a social crime to step out of the house looking so hideous! Of all areas on my face, that stoopid pimple had to grow at a super-obvious zone where even a 6ft manager could see.

Hid it with foundation and concealer today. Thank god it is drying up already!

Oh well. I went for a house viewing yesterday. The unit was acceptable: located on the 8th floor, about 8 mins from the mrt station cum bus interchange cum shopping mall. Reason why the owners were moving out? They are upgrading to a bigger house. Fully furnished with air-conditioning in every room, windy and quiet area, and the price is reasonable. Gonna check out another unit on Sunday afternoon before making up my mind tho. Maybe take some pics this time.

Dad was asking, why not view more units before deciding? Besides, $1.9k is rather expensive. He-llo, house hunting is a very very exhausting and frustrating feat. I only have two weeks left before I fly to Aussie (woot!) and I surely must settle everything before then. The sista has exactly one month to search for the 3rd housemate since her friend bailed out at the last mo. Hot damn. Some people are just born irresponsible!

Kiez, back to work now. My manager expects everything to be completed before 5.30pm today. Crap. Looking forward to a quiet Friday night at Settlers Cafe later :P

Responsibility is a choice~

17:25

Was tuned in to 987fm on my way home. This uni student was on air playing a game to win a Pink CD. She was supposed to anwer 3 out of 4 questions correctly. Maths, science, English and social studies. So, first question was Maths, and she totally skewered it!

DJ: What is 5.25pm in 24-hour format?
Girl: Erm..
DJ: (repeats question) What is 5.25pm in 24-hour format? C 'mon, you can do it.
Girl: Erm..
Clock ticking 5 4 3 2 1
DJ: I'm sorry, but it's 17:25. Have you ever seen a clock in 24-hour format?
Girl: Yeah..
DJ: (must be knocking his head on the wall, 'cause I would be too) It's not the end of the world yet. As long as you get the next 3 questions correct. Next question is..

-___-"

Can't believe how unsmart some people can be. I'm being mean, again. Forgive my lack of manners. The irony is, she actually managed to get the other 3 questions right and walk away with the CD. Like how far is the sun from earth. Now, that is something I have no inkling of.

*Doink

Called 8 agents within 2 hours. Mainly looking at Sengkang and Pasir Ris. Gave them my budget and preferences and let them do the research for me. Heck, I ain't paying you a thousand bugs for nothing. If you want it, earn it. If you don't think you need it, I'm pretty sure some other agent can find good use for that sum of cash.

Have been quite liberal with money. Lets just say I enlightened myself on what role a pile of greenbacks should play in my life. Was quite upset when I lost a hundred or two due to the fall in aussie dollar. Was pissed when I learnt that I have to fork out a thousand to pay off useless people just to rent myself a house. Was pinching every penny I could manage to during the first few months I was here by eating only hawker food and taking buses to work. Was mentally comparing prices and exchanging currencies between SGD and MYR before I made any purchase just so I could convince myself I made a good bargain.

Then again, whatever for?

1 thing 2 do 3 words for you~

Woes Continued

Gawd. Just got off the phone with an agent who couldn't speak proper English. It was horrible. Half the time I couldn't understand what he was babbling about. And he kept insisting on having my number. I offered my email, but he said he doesn't do emails. What sane people on earth don't do emails, you tell me!

If I were to pay a thousand bugs to get an agent to do paperwork for me, I would at least pick one who can actually form a proper sentence in English -__-" You know damn well you are an agent a.k.a. bloodsucker and so not welcomed with open arms by tenants. The very least you could do is to try to sound professional. Puh-leese!

Sheesh!

House hunting is getting on my nerves. New strategy of the day: call an agent, ask about a particular house, then ask about other houses he/she has on hand too. Like what I did with Ginni. Unlike agent 2910. Go get a life. Take English lessons. Learn some manners. Look into the mirror. Whatever. You are blacklisted.

I am mean, so what? I am a f*cking paying customer. Go fly kite.

Kiez. Definitely so not my docile self. It's been a rather nice day. Client finally picked up my call and I got things done. Not my fault that she couldn't finish the rest and that is how I am going to feedback to my manager at the end of this week. Got drenched in an afternoon shower. Didn't bother to even sprint for cover. Know why?

Number one: I have short legs and can't run fast enough. Number two: no matter how fast I run, I will still get wet. Number three: Even if I get wet, I won't get myself ill over a few miserable drops of rain. Number four: I just had lunch and since reasons one to three are solid enough, no point me risking an appendicitis.

Yeah. I make no sense. Back to house hunting. Wish me luck!

Open the window and smile upward towards heaven; it is highly likely that God is tempted to grin back at you and make it just your lucky day :)

Frustration of a Tenant

Jus found out that virtually every house owner in Singapore entrust their properties to agents. Because it is hassle-free for them. And of course, fee-free. Know why?

'Cause agent fees are payable by us tenants. That's why. The world is so f*cking unfair!!

Agents are human beings whom sit around doing nothing except make phone calls and file paperwork. This agent was trying to be funny by telling me that although everyone thinks that an agent is totally useless (which I so agree), they are in fact, the co-ordinator between house owner and tenant. If, and when, the tenant and owner get into a dispute.

.. Which is almost, never!

And we have to pay, a f*cking S$1,000 to them. Half a month's rent, in other words. And the agent said again, don't worry, I comply totally with xxx ruling set by the xxx ministry. The fee is totally fair. Not cheating you or anything. Yeah right, not cheating my balls. You siphon a good thousand dollars from me for doing nothing and you call that totally fair?!?

Am so pissed with the blardy world right now. Still thinking if I should move all the way to North East. Then again, if I want to use an agent, I can easily find a place nearer Central. Hmm.. That shall be the strategy for tomorrow. Or, I will try my goddamn best to negotiate on the agent fees. You think I care peanuts for the "norm of the industry"..?

I should blardy taking up a part-time occupation as an agent too. Should be easy and fun. And not to mention, good money. Sienz, going home now. Got a looooonger day tomorrow.

Agents are men who stand between you and money. That's why they are called the middle man. Go figure.

Overdose

Too much sleep makes Vern want to sleep more :P

I hate insomnia. I'm the kind of person who needs and uses a nuclear reactor's worth of energy just to live through the day. I talk too fast. Think too much. Skip rather than walk like a normal person. Find something to laugh about every other minute. In short, I burn enough calories to be underweight despite eating every 3-4 hours.

And when I don't sleep, I turn into a walking ghost. Pale and ugly, that's what the mirror told me yesterday. Food taste like crap. Nausea makes my day a living hell. No mood to crack jokes or make conversations with strangers. All I am interested is to count down the hours 'til I can crawl into bed and curl under my covers.

Bed time came at 8pm yesterday. And I slept like a log. Nice weather, aftershower cool. I forgot if I dreamt. Too bad I have to do house-hunting after work today. Am not ready to hand over a thousand bugs to a goddamned agent. Heck, I can do alot with that sum of money, kiez?

The search for a perfect home is worse than seeking the perfect guy; for a house can't grow legs and come knocking on your door with roses in hand :(

Starry, starry night

When the skies are blue and gray..

Can't believe it. At 2.50am on a Sunday night, no Monday morning, I am wide awake. So going to be zombieish at work tomorrow. Thank Lord it's only planning, and the manager is on leave. Nevermind that I am the tic and should be putting in more effort than usual. Gak!

The muscles in my calves were protesting this afternoon - that's what happens when you do not exercise for 11 months - when I slipped on my two-inch heels and sauntered out of the house. Caught the bus to Parkway Parade just to get my bikini. Woot! White with blue flower prints from Arena, best thing was it's on 40% discount. LT made a sour face when I tried it on 'cause she bought hers (the same one, except with red flower prints) at 70 bugs just two three months ago.

Just my luck :P

Took bus 36 to get to Far East. Big mistake. I was on that stoopid bus for a frigging' one hour. And was running 45 mins late. Hot damn. You know how I despise being unpunctual. Bought two belts and a scarf. Seen like three dozens of bags but liked none of them. Got bored and we decided to bail out of that place. Took the train to YCK where good ol' Joyce picked us up.

Joyce, thanks so much for the wonderful night. For offering us moonlight swim at your condo and a shower afterwards. For driving us to Jalan Kayu where I had my first mamak in Singapore. We enjoyed the food and company so much, we didn't realise it was midnight already. And lastly, for being my cabbie home.

*Muaxxx

I'm exhausted. From jogging and shopping and swimming and talking. Yet, sleep is avoiding me like plague. Must be the damned teh tarik. Caffeine screws up my system. Makes it go into overdrive and I end up like an hyperactive idiot who can't shut up or sit down. Worse, I have to take more caffeine tomorrow morning just to keep me going during work. It's like snowball effect: the shit accumulates each day 'til one day you can't take it anymore and everything goes downhill.

Damn fun.

Money does buy happiness. To some extent.

Crap. If I can't fall asleep soon, I'm going to start doing my laundry. At 3.23am the clock reads. Freak.

Maternal Instincts

I believe every girl is born with it. The element in us that makes us strive to be world's greatest mama. Even in our toddler years. That's why playing masak-masak and Poly Pocket appeals more to females; we like to have someone something to fuss about.

When we were in primary school, we walked around carrying dolls like they are babies of our own. When we hit teenage years, we find a boyfriend to nag day and night. When we get married, we worry about our families 'til our hair turns gray. It's no wonder why women age faster.

On the bus home tonight, I saw a young girl playing mother to her lil brother. She was about nine ten years old, quite pretty and too damn sensible for her age. She carried her sleeping brother, I think he's about a year old, all the way home. Of course, she wasn't alone; her maid was struggling with the pram and everything else. But the thing is, I've seen too many spoiled brats to know that this girl is a gem.

And I was thinking, I want my little girl to be like her. So unlike her mother.

Bleh!

Holla!

I'm done with Xanga. Good riddance. Goodbye.

On this brand new day of the brand new month, I am starting myself a new blog. Scratch that. This is actually the second blog I signed up for the day. The first was at wordpress.com but I hated its outlay, despised its double spacing every time I hit the key "Enter" like Xanga. In short, I couldn't figure out how to make it work like I want it to be. After two hours, I gave up and here I am!

Hmm.. Then again, why do I need a new blog?

'Cause I've been writing almost everyday lately. And Xanga's been so-not-userfriendly. I got irritated. Wanted a fresh new look and feel. Bla bla bla. Does a woman ever need a reason to do something? I guess, not.

So, on the first day of November, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. The weather is looking good from my window; light blue skies with a tinge of aftershower fragrance. I finished my last engagement within the deadline and got along well with my tic. I made two new male friends during the last few weeks whom I can talk to easily (then again, since when do I have problems socialising with the opposite sex?). The best friend called this morning at 10.21am this morning to announce that he secured tickets for the both of us to watch the Mamma Mia musical on 1st Jan. It's now 4.45pm and I am cooling off from my jog; my first ever jog on this island, if you minus the gym sessions.

In short, I am happy :P

Okies. Gotta run for my appointment. I'm running late. Hot damn.